I waltz through memory lane in a deep trance remembering what life was and how I reacted to every bit of my past experience and just how I found my self on this very spot, thinking bout the past.
Its really funny, when you are younger your tolerance level is @ 0%, you find it almost unbearable to stand mistakes, you think the world rotates around you, you act on impulse and hardly think of the repercussions of your action, you tell yourself I can't deal with this and you walk away without looking back.
Its ironic that when you are younger you have so much more passion and zest to start afresh like its just the most natural thing to do, like its no trouble, like its getting up from bed any other morning. You get older and all you want to do is hold unto anything, the thoughts of starting afresh becomes a malignant nightmare sipping through your sanity, killing your strength and burying any passion u nurtured.
I wonder were went my feisty spirit, my strength unfettered and relentless, I used to believe I was unstoppable and unbeatable, I was the reason I was created, I had the key to my destiny, I used to walk tall like I was a queen, I fail to understand what made me so passionate and strong and unbreakable.
And years later, I lay in bed going down memory lane asking myself what happened, when did I become the woman who let any1 decide how happy I could be or how satisfied I could get or what I deserved, when did I hand over the wheel of my destiny to be driven by another, how did I give up my independence to society's scrutiny? How did I join the train to the Land of wot ought to be as opposed to what I want for me? How did I get to this place where all decisions seems like an extreme compromise and every choice seems like a subtle directive by the unforeseen norm force!
So it hits me just @ d stroke of midnite, I have grown, cautious and thoughts are my ally, spontaneous act can not be enjoyed for being erratic can no longer be a luxury I can enjoy, I can not be the erratic I don't care devil to survive in a society like this, the days of nonchalance are behind me, but do I have to give up my independence to fit into this subjective society?
I wonder, I do wonder, being grown, does that mean being unfulfilled?
Am going down memory lane, and indeed it baffles me to feel so helpless!
Its really funny, when you are younger your tolerance level is @ 0%, you find it almost unbearable to stand mistakes, you think the world rotates around you, you act on impulse and hardly think of the repercussions of your action, you tell yourself I can't deal with this and you walk away without looking back.
Its ironic that when you are younger you have so much more passion and zest to start afresh like its just the most natural thing to do, like its no trouble, like its getting up from bed any other morning. You get older and all you want to do is hold unto anything, the thoughts of starting afresh becomes a malignant nightmare sipping through your sanity, killing your strength and burying any passion u nurtured.
I wonder were went my feisty spirit, my strength unfettered and relentless, I used to believe I was unstoppable and unbeatable, I was the reason I was created, I had the key to my destiny, I used to walk tall like I was a queen, I fail to understand what made me so passionate and strong and unbreakable.
And years later, I lay in bed going down memory lane asking myself what happened, when did I become the woman who let any1 decide how happy I could be or how satisfied I could get or what I deserved, when did I hand over the wheel of my destiny to be driven by another, how did I give up my independence to society's scrutiny? How did I join the train to the Land of wot ought to be as opposed to what I want for me? How did I get to this place where all decisions seems like an extreme compromise and every choice seems like a subtle directive by the unforeseen norm force!
So it hits me just @ d stroke of midnite, I have grown, cautious and thoughts are my ally, spontaneous act can not be enjoyed for being erratic can no longer be a luxury I can enjoy, I can not be the erratic I don't care devil to survive in a society like this, the days of nonchalance are behind me, but do I have to give up my independence to fit into this subjective society?
I wonder, I do wonder, being grown, does that mean being unfulfilled?
Am going down memory lane, and indeed it baffles me to feel so helpless!
