WOMAN

Being a woman is the most risky thing on earth, am sure men would beg to differ but it is simply the truth, from the minute 1 is born into this world as a woman , u either become a victim or a victor, however sadly so, most women become victims.

We become victims of our emotions, victims of our choices, victims of circumstances and most of all, we fall victims in the hands of men.

But ironically, i would come back life after life, in reincarnation as a woman, imagine coming to life as a man, the thoughts of missing out in the joy of nurturing life is unthinkable to me, the thoughts of not having my stomach bulge in growth of life month after month, looking at life form grow in me through the sonogram is really painful to even imagine,the thoughts of not having that bond with a child who while sucking on my bossom would look into my eyes in trust love and affection, is simply unbearable to imagine. the thoughts of not having that little innocent bundle of joy look up at me and say "mama" is to painful to bare.

However thinking about it all is not such a bad thing to be a victimised woman, the downside of being a woman is such a small price to pay for all that a woman is yet to experience.

The life of a woman is that of sacrifice, sacrifice in all manners imaginable, it is a life of endurance and tolerance, but most of all, it is a life of unimaginable power, we don't even know about, women are stronger than we give our self credit for, we are the fuel that ignites the fire of life, we are the force that moves the stumbling mountain, we are the natures best ally, we are life in a whole new form, because we are weak only when we chose to be. Only a fool would underestimate the meekest of woman.

I am a woman and am proud to be one.

AFRAID

So this morning right before i left for work,my dad was distributing as usual are ritual morning fruits and i was as usual trying to avoid the usual early morning advice from my dad telling me to pay attention to the morning news.
And somehow while my dad , mum and myself were engaged in our conversations on politics and law, my kid sister and elder brother came to join us in the room, and one thing led to another, and we started arguing on what fone made more sense, black berry, nokia or i phone and the argument went on for ages, eventually my dad decided to crack a joke ( sorry i wont share dat with sundry) and while every one was laughing and rolling around, it hit me, the reason am so picky about who i settle down with is the fact that i grow up surrounded with love, affection, trust and happiness. I walked out of the room some how dazed and frightened, i was thinking of all the things that could go wrong with a family and grateful that my family was though not perfect, but above all the trivial and pettiness of the world.
So i wonder, how would it be easy for a lady like me to just up and marry any man, considering the fact that am so happy in my fathers house.
I walked out of my fathers room silently praying that God gives me just this warm family eventually and some how just when i was ffianlly about to take a shower, i realized i had tear drops dancing down my face, I guess i am more scared than i thot.

I BURN

It seems spring has arrived in autumn

yet summer has sailded in with winter,

Roses and flowers buds bossom in full,

The petals and fallen leaves whisper

in secret,

yet again, distinct with with dancing wind

i hear the nightingales sing in passion.

Dont jinx it, say not a word,

Dont end it, look into my eyes,

Better still touch me,

or would you rather

kiss my breath away,

love me till am weak

without strenght to resist.

tonight i burn with desire

tonight i burn with passion,

tonight i burn so deeply to find

your lips on mine,

I burn for the touch of ur fingers

I burn for the subtle nibble

on the nape of my neck,

tonight i burn for the outburst

that words cant explain,

tonight i burn to lay in ur arms

till d break of dawn.

Poetry

Poetry is like painting with words, each word a perfect fix to the next, its like romance and passion expressed in the simplicity of words.
Poetry to me is like music each word dancing in tune with the next, every word in symphony with the next, message in tune with the pain, love, anger, anguish, passion, hate, desire, i mean any feeling imagined or felt.
That's why i write, i write to express my self, to pass messages my lip has failed to pass, i write to be heard.
So let me share with u some of my Paintings . .

How i lost Deji

so it occurs another lunch conversation with Deji,he was the ideal kinda guy i would have considered marrying, i mean he so willingly decided to give me his car to use for 3weeks non stop, he was always at my rescue each time i needed,he would listen to my problems and say things like "dont worry u would be fine" and the ask me how he could help, i still remember how we had met, i had decided to just take my passion for french seriously and pay for classes and some he was the banker who attended to me despite the fact that he wasnt behide the counter, he seemed strangly pleased by my name and it suprised me then but later i understood it all.

so sitting across the table, i stared at him again and wondered why it just seemed so impossible to find him attractive atall, his lips which is the most attractive thing about him moved in motion, asking me again why i just couldn't find it in my heart to give hime a chance.

i thought for a while,really trying to understand myself, i have always wanted to find some one who would pretty much worship me, treat me likee am some sort of fraigile egg and pamper me, and here he was right before my eyes aand all i could think of was, this guy is just pretending, am sure he would change once i gave him a chance to be the man for me.

But then it hitted me, i was not scared of dating him because i felt he was gonna hurt me eventually, i was scared of dating him because i knew his being available was not a good enough reason to date him, i couldnt find myself dating him cos i dint want to compromise dating some1 i dint find attractive, he was goodlooking in a specific way but it just dint appeal to me, maybe cos all I saw in him was a friend, my friend.

Marriage is not just about two poeple getting married cos it is time and it is just convinient, for me marriage is about finding that special person who understands u, who makes ur life worth living, who makes every moment count like neeva before, who makes your palm sweat just at the anticipation of his touch, its about finding some 1 who is considerate and kind and whose kindness and consideration is well appreciated and not just taken for granted.

So i looked him in the eyes and told him " Deji, u are so good to me, but i cant date u, if i do, i would be lieing to myself and that is going to be very unfair to you"

He looked like me as though i was some ghost, i guess he just never eexpected that i would still stick to my NO as per dating him, he then told me, he dint want to be friends, he could not be my friend and right there on the spot he left me sitting on the table and walked away.

I guess eventually i thought about it and was grateful for my decision cos as the porpular saying goes "HOW CAN WE BE LOVERS IF WE CANT BE FRIENDS? so Deji never wanted to be my friend he just wanted to date me.

So dats how Deji walked out of my life.

ACCEPTANCE

The dusty cold october breeze struck me across the face, reminding me of my lonliness.
just a few weeks back i had some one to love, yet today, i sit on my patio, listening to the leaves dance to the rythme of the wind.
Lonliness is interpreted according to he who concieves it, i guess thats why i embrace this loneliness that has englufed me, i wonder why i hadnt been brave in the past , believing in my self and finding ways to find happiness in my solitude.
Moments so lost it seemed like my own imagination, am wondering, did i not lay in his arms once, or anticipate the dust of his touch, mesmerised by the gentle touch of his lips and yet, this minute, this very second, am lost in anger and i cant remember how it felt to fall in his embrace.